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Daily Mail Satirical Headline Scrambler

By Neurobonkers On February 14, 2012 · Leave a Comment

Last month, Mail Online was declared the most read news source in the world. We should celebrate this with some of the things that the Daily Mail lack: wit, humour and a first class bit of script. The script locally (i.e. your browser only – nothing criminal) hijacks the Daily Mail’s frontpage and injects it with randomised headlines. The script will remain installed until you remove it from the extensions menu (under options). Every single time the Daily Mail website is loaded you (or your unsuspecting Daily Mail enthusiast) will see the day’s Daily Mail homepage as normal except with randomly scrambled headlines. The result is a unique, computer generated satirical masterpiece, every single time you press refresh. The script is otherwise invisible and will work with Chrome or Firefox (sorry IE users).

The script doesn’t require any programming knowledge at all. If your target is using chrome it’s a one-click operation. If you’re using Firefox you’ll need to install Greasemonkey first (also a one-click installation). After you run the script you’re free to leave the scene, shutdown the computer and wait until your target loads the dailymail.co.uk all by themselves. You can refresh a hundred times and you’ll still be laughing (or crying).

Happy Valentines!

With Love,

@Neurobonkers

PS: Hashtag #OccupyMailOnline

OccupyMailOnline1 Daily Mail Satirical Headline Scrambler

If you’re worried about running an unknown script, read the code for yourself in a text reader, it’s comedy gold.

Neurobonkers is not responsible for what happens when you use this script or the consequences when your friend, coworker, or (if you’re very brave), boss finds out.

Credit to Qwghlm and Gingerninja. 2012 update by Neurobonkers.

Just ONE Copy of The Daily Mail Could Ruin Your Life

By Neurobonkers On February 13, 2012 · Leave a Comment

Check out my article in the New Journalist. I have decided to publish this piece with TNJ because they aspire to work under the three principles that the Daily Mail lack so severely, “accuracy, honesty and integrity”. See you after the jump.

Update (03/03/2012): More evidence that the Daily Mail can ruin your life from Thursday’s Daily Mail letters page:

Tagged with: Daily Fail • daily mail • Daily Mail Demolition Squad • Rise of the idiots

Daily Mail Demolition #2

By Neurobonkers On January 25, 2012 · 6 Comments

Last month I ran the first Daily Mail demolition, a detailed research based smackdown of every fraudulent claim in the Daily Mail’s piece “Just one cannabis joint can bring on schizophrenia” (which has now mysteriously been retitled “Just ONE cannabis joint ‘can cause psychiatric episodes similar to schizophrenia” yet hasn’t corrected the fact that the research cited was about a completely differnt drug). I have also submitted the piece for the Orwellion Prize for Journalistic Misrepresentation, hold tight for the annual prize draw next week!

Daily Mail Killed by Cannabis Daily Mail Demolition #2

In today’s edition the Daily Mail responds to this week’s debate on drugs with what can only be described as a juvenile and fraudulent argument.

To sum up the past couple of days:

Nature, Time, the BBC and just about every other science publication and news outlet covered Dr. Nutt’s latest research and it’s promising findings for possible clinical use of psilocybin, provoking academic debate on the restriction on study of illegal drugs for clinical use.

UK law took a small yet definitive step forward, reducing sentences for medical use of drugs, small time users and drug mules (Telegraph, Guardian, Sky, sentencingcouncil.judiciary.gov.uk/guidelines/forthcoming-guidelines)

Richard Branson gave evidence at the Government’s select committee on drugs (Guardian, video – skip in about three minutes for the start, Branson’s blog).

The legal developments are based on evidence emerging from states such as Portugal who have successfully decriminalised drug use and are reaping the benefits (rigorous, balanced analysis of the stats here).

So what did the Daily Mail run with today? This time my commentary is not even needed. I’ve simply taken the liberty of literally highlighting the blindingly obvious flaw in this ridiculous excuse for a news article.

In case you somehow missed the staggering (excuse the pun) error. The coroners verdict was death by “misadventure”, the coroner explicitly stated that cannabis wasn’t the direct cause of death and instead implicated the popular legal alternative, alcohol.

Is this really the best that the pro-drugs-war camp can offer? This, against all of the evidence. This scrap of blatant deception, in defence of a policy that causes untold misery, death, unnecessary incarceration, spread of disease, incentive for crime, currency for criminals, violence at home and abroad, the list goes on.

Make your complaint with the Press Complaints Commission about this piece here. Receive updates on Daily Mail pieces particularly in need of demolition here.

Reference (A word the Daily Mail apparently do not know the meaning of)

Hughes CE, & Stevens A (2012). A resounding success or a disastrous failure: Re-examining the interpretation of evidence on the Portuguese decriminalisation of illicit drugs. Drug and alcohol review, 31 (1), 101-13 PMID: 22212070